Happy freakin Valentine's Day

Our Valentine's fireside went over Dr. John Gottmans' 5 Languages of Love. we were all supposed to go home and evaluated which of the issues were most important to us and our spouse so we can better show them how we love them.

My favorite part is highlighted:

Primary Love Lanaguage
1. Words of Affirmation – You feel loved when another person tells you that he or she values you as a person and appreciates your special way with the most ordinary tasks
2. Quality time – You feel closest to another person when you receive focused attention.
3. Receiving Gifts – Tangible expressions of love assure you that the other person is not only thinking of you, but he or she cares enough to show it.
4. Acts of Service – You feel most loved when someone helps you carry out your responsibilities
5. Physical Touch – You enjoy being embraced and feeling another's touch

Primary Apology Language
1. Expressing Regret – What you want to hear in an apology is an immediate expression of sorrow for causing you pain. A simple, "I'm sorry" goes a long way
2. Accepting Responsibility – What you are looking for in an apology is maturity. You most want to hear the offending party say, "I was wrong and I take responsibility for my actions."
3. Making Restitution – You find it easiest to forgive when action is taken to compensate for the wrong done to you. You listen not only to an admission of fault, but also for the question, "What can I do to make it better?"
4. Genuinely Repenting – You are most able to forgive someone who offends you and is willing to change in order to avoid hurting you again.
5. Requesting Forgiveness – You want to know that the offending person highly values your relationship an sincerely desires restoration.

What Makes Love Last
1. Satisfied couples/families maintain 5:1 ratio of positive to negative moments in their relationships. In other words, if something harsh is expressed, it must be followed by 5 sincere and positive expressions of love to balance the effect.
2. Couples headed for divorce allow the ratio to slip below 1:1.

Husbands who share housework are likely to
1. Have happier marriages
2. Have greater physical health
3. Have better sex lives

Four Keys to a Happy Marriage
1. Learn to calm down
2. Learn to listen and speak non-defensively
3. Validate the other person's thoughts
4. Practice, practice, practice