Being pregnant is probably the least enjoyable event a woman gets to experience. Here are my reasons why:
1. FAT. FAT. FAT. I'm not one of those obnoxiously cute pregnant women who only gain weight in their belly. No, my butt, thighs, love handles, arms, and face are all fat, fat, fat.
2. Back pain. Begins about 5-6 months and continues to labor. If you're really lucky, you get back labor (which an epidural doesn't help with) and you get to deal with it all through labor.
3. As my friend JR said, "you get stitches on your who-ha and you'll poop." Fortunately with the C-Section neither of these happened, but I'm not looking forward to it this time around.
4. Boobs. For 20+ years they served one purpose: decoration. You could even spruce them up with fancy bras from Victoria's Secret. (Victoria's Secret doesn't make maternity bras).
When your milk does come in, the first thing you get is a yellow puss-like substance oozing from them (gross) and then your milk comes in. When my milk came in with Ally, it was like someone had inserted cantaloupes in my shirt. And painful. Not to mention the fact that anytime you roll over or even hear a baby cry, suddenly you have milked yourself, as if life isn't embarrassing enough.
5. Nursing. When/how/where is this appropriate? Liberal moms will say "Anytime, anywhere." Well, my mom taught me to hide certain parts of my body at all costs and now suddenly it's ok to whip out a boob out in public. Even in my own home, I go hide in my bedroom when it's time to nurse.
I would make apologies for the graphic nature of the blog, but it's the truth. I'm wondering if we made the right decision to have another. I'm also wishing I could fast-forward about 12 months and all this would be over.
Things no one told me:
1. Rough up your nipples before nursing. Supposedly it helps with the pain of nursing (and yes it's painful and involves skill...who knew? And why didn't anyone tell me before hand?)
2. You may not love your baby right away. Well, you'll love your baby, but you may not fall in love with your baby right away.
Any other truths you wished you knew before having babies? Or am I just crazy?